Membaca artikel Ethan, saya mengingat dan membayangkan hubungan platonik dgn lawan jenis lebih mungkin terjadi jika salah satu atau keduanya pernah memiliki ketertarikan secara romantis maupun seksual, dan telah beranjak dari fase tersebut. Bagaimana menurutmu, Dri?

Tidak setuju.

Pria dan wanita bisa punya hubungan yang murni platonik tanpa harus “beranjak” dari fase lain. Anyone who says otherwise probably never had close friends of the opposite sex.

Or only objectifies them as a.) “bisa neh”, or b.) “ogah ah.”

Vipey, why teasing and mocking take so much part of guys convo? And why so many of them act like bunch of ape when there’s a (pretty/cute) girl around?

First question: Why do men tease and mock when together? Because guys don’t say “bestie! my BFF! brother!” to eachother faces, but dibelakang mock and talk bad about eachother. You know, unlike.. *sinyal ilang*

Second question: I don’t know what you mean by “act like a bunch of apes”, but yes.. I’m sure there’s a lot of guys who regress into uncultured “Lesser Men” neanderthals when a pretty girl is present. In a way, it’s a form of “kampungan”.. if you haven’t been around a lot of pretty girls, your behaviour reflects it.

Real men, on the other hand, just keep their cool and behave normally. Paling mata aja yang alert buddies that someone someone cute is within range.

Vipey, I understand that men are “visual beings” but I can’t stand my SO’s jumpiness when seeing women like when we’re out together,then the “cewek cantik-mulus-badan bagus-kulit putih-rambut panjang-make up-an” passes by or sits nearby, I’ll caught him glancing a few times at her.What should I do?

I’m not saying that you should accept it, but let me tell you something about men:

A man can be completely in love with his girlfriend/wife, but if an attractive woman crosses his line of sight, his eyes WILL move. It’s a reflex we have no control over. Again, I’m not saying you should tolerate it, but this is just how it is. Lagian, emangnya mata kamu ngga gerak kalau ada cowok ganteng lewat? It’s the same thing, and yes.. he KNOWS you looked. But unlike you, he’s emotionally mature and secure enough to not make an issue about it.

And let me tell you something else:

I have several female friends who -years later- discovered that their boyfriend/exes are actually gay. Mau tahu ngga benang-merah diantara semuanya? They all said the same thing: “He never looked at any other women, ever. I felt like I was the only one in his eyes. Well, now I know…” So, which would you prefer?

Serious question. So, I have a lil daughter. If someday she got married, is it okay if I make an agreement with her soon to be husband that I can do anything to him if she ever hurt her? Or am I just over protective? Thanks.

It depends on what you mean by “hurt.”

If you think the man she is going to marry has anger management issues, then it’s up to you warn your daughter about it. And you might want to think about WHY your daughter mau2nya sama orang yang tidak bisa mengendalikan emosi. Sorry to say, it might have to do with how she was raised. The only reason why people behave a certain way is because ada aja yang mau stay with them, despite such behaviour.

But if you define “hurt” as “sakit hati”, well… just because someone sakit hati or heartbroken, it does not mean your daughter di pihak yang benar. It might be hard to believe, but our kids are not saints. They might have their own manipulative ways, and when their hidden agenda doesn’t go as planned.. they feel hurt. Maaf ya, itu urusan sendiri2. Being manipulative and deceitful isn’t the domain of the male gender. Women are just as capable of doing so, and even BETTER at “pulling victim” when it happens.

I’m not sure if this answers your question… but it might give you perspective.

Vipey, do you believe that a good woman deserves a good man and vice versa? Oh and thanks for opening up an account! I have tons to ask but too shy to reveal my anonimity :”)

Not only is “good” a relative concept, but in this case it is also irrelevant.

Nothing bugs me more than those people who indignantly say “I deserve better than this.”

No, you deserve whoever you consciously *chose* to be with, with all the information you had about the person.

That, is what you “deserve”. Nothing more, nothing less.

Have any films drastically changed the way you feel/ think about certain things? Whether it be social issues or even how you perceive life. Please share some of those films and the story of how those films changed things for you. Thank you :)

I have a feeling this will be a question I’ll revisit over time, deleting and adding new snippets.

But for a quick and lazy saturday morning answer, here we go:

During my young and opinionated pre-internet years, I wrote a short article for a Bandung newspaper (remember those?) on “Analisa Korelasi Terminator 2, Aliens, dan Motherhood.” (Yeah, I forgot the exact title.) Anyways.. I argued that the toughest testosterone male action heroes cannot hold a candle to a mother protecting her young. And a woman will transform into a fighting machine overnight (no Special Forces training or tour in ‘Nam necessary) if her offspring is in danger. Once the maternal instinct kicks in and turns primal, even the Expendables would just pack up and leave.

So why Terminator 2 and Aliens? Both movies explore those themes. How Sarah Connor stopped at nothing to protect her son, and how Ripley carried Newt while wielding a flamethrower against the Alien Queen (who was in turn, protecting her breed). And let’s not forget her iconic line: “Get away from her, you bitch.”

Come to think of it.. the best thing about the pre-internet days, silly stuff you published when you were 19 don’t come back to haunt you.