Vipey, why do people or perhaps majority of people (me include) seems obsessed about romantic relationship? Like you said: there’s so many things you could ‘berkubang menggelora’ into instead of relationship, and I think deep down our logical brain agrees too. Is it something that only Indonesian do?

No, it’s not exclusive to Indonesians. I say it’s mostly an age thing. Man, look at Thought Catalog. What is that site if not a collection of white people in their twenties and their first world relationship problems? On the other hand, maybe the only reason why this obsession is so apparent, is because of social media.

@manampiring and I discussed this, actually. Perhaps we also were also galau teu puguh when we were in our twenties too.. the difference is that we had nowhere to express it. I dunno, maybe Piring locked himself in his bedroom and tulis menulis surat or something. Meanwhile you guys are like “duh aq blm ikhlaskan dia” and the whole fucking world has to know. Immediately.

Another theory of mine is this: berkubang in urusan relationship is like a default obsession. Where basically, if you don’t have anything better to do with your life, you will automatically default into being obsessed with it. It’s like guys who have no real genuine interests will always hobi mobil. Or women who never bother developing a interest in anything that requires any skill will always hobi baju or hobi tas. Because of all the hobbies out there, those are the two that require no dedication or intelligence, yet the most effective at showing off swag.

Being obsessed with relationships is like that. If you have too much time at hand, you’ll forever berkubang di urusan “aq blm ikhlaskan dia, tolonglah tuhan…”

why you dont put your family name like henry manampiring ? are you shame with your family tribe?

Malu sih kagak. I just don’t have a long heritage to my family name. You know, unlike the illustrious Manampirings and their prodigal son. Heh heh. 🙂

The reason why I don’t use my last name in social media is because I like to keep certain things private. And unsearchable. And no, I will not defend my reasons. We all have our own personal parameters of what we share online. In a nutshell: nama gw, ya suka2 gw.

But I wasn’t kidding when I said that there is no lineage to my last name.. which is basically my father’s name. And like many javanese men, he only had one name. So how did I end up using his singular last name as mine and my sibling’s last name? Here’s the story:

When my father immigrated to Canada in the late ’60s, his singular name presented a problem. All administration was computerized, and a last name was necessary. Now let’s say my dad’s name is.. Bukowski (iya, ini contoh aja!). Because his own father’s name was a mouthful, and Canadians were calling him “Buko” as it is.. he decided to go by the name Buko Bukowski. So my dad officially became Buko Bukowski, I became Adrian Bukowski, and as did my siblings.

So as you can see.. there is no lineage to be ashamed of, nor is there anything to be proud of.

Because my siblings and I never sired any children of our own, and probably never will (knock on wood), we have this running joke among ourselves:

“We are the first generation of Bukowskis… and guess what, looks like we’re also gonna be the last!”

Vipey… What do you think abt beauty? :”)

A feature that is ONLY skin-deep, but somehow many people find it perfectly normal to worship beyond what it is. “Worship” as in being literally in awe of good looks, and personify pretty people with qualities beyond.. well.. the depth of their skin.

Am I exaggerating?

“Tapi aku ngefans bgt ama dia! Abis cantik sih!”

How the fuck can anyone “ngefans” ANYONE just for their looks?

“But she’s pretty on the inside too..”

I’m sure she ain’t prettier on the inside more than anyone else. You just never pay any attention to plain-looking people. They don’t even make a fucking blip on your radar.

“Tapi kayaknya pinter dan berbakat..”

Because she reads Murakami and posted some deep quotes on her Tumblr page? Oh wait, she wears glasses… she must be smart!

I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: I like a pretty face as much as any guy. But no, it doesn’t mean I’ll start projecting good qualities on a person just because she’s cute. And I won’t find excuses for a person’s poor behaviour just because she’s hot.

“Kalo udah kenal sebenernya baeq kok..”

“Sebenernya dia pinter, cuma ga diliatin aja…”

Yeah, of course such pathetic excuses only apply to the PAP-able ones.

are you born vipertongue or in one day you transform to be?

Depends on what you mean by that. If you are referring to “vipertongue” as what is reflected online in social media, I guess I was born that way.

The reason being is this: the other day I went through some stuff I wrote, designed, drew, and photographed back in high school (which, mind you, was a LOOOOONG time ago). So I was 14-15 at the time. And you know what… it all looked and sounded exactly how I am now. I’ve had the same views on music, design, clothing, and culture. I sounded the same way, I wrote the same way.

When I was 5 years old I said “I’m not gonna get married”, and guess what… I’m still not married. (And no, questions like “kakak kenapa kok umur 5 thn bisa memutuskan begitu” will not be answered.) My mom said I was that kid who would just stand with his arms folded, observing other kids yelling and running around.

And yet, are there people out there who say I am fake and all pencitraan? Of course. The funny thing is, I just live the way I see fit, even when no one is looking. That’s more than those people can ever say for themselves.

What makes you sign up for this tweens and teens, playground (ask.fm), kak?

Because I hunger validation and I am desperately trying to hold on to my youth.

Ok, now that I’ve given you the preconceived answer you are just *craving* to hear, here’s the real reason:

As on Twitter and on ask.fm, I don’t follow the tweens and teens. I know they are out there, but like, whatever. It’s like you don’t follow the 45 yo old journalists who tweet politics. Like, whatever, right. I don’t follow them either as I’m not interested in politics.

You can call it a playground, if you want. But that’s how you see it because you follow PAP-happy tweens.

I see it as a place where I can practice writing in longer form than twitter, and a place to say my thoughts.

So yes.. believe it or not, the world is much larger than who you see, and who you follow.

Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out when you get older.

ps. FYI, you can block or unfollow people here if their posts are not playground-y enough. Just letting you know. Kalo2 aja ngga tau. God knows I do that all the time.

What’s your opinion or thought about a girl who posts selfie too much?

I’m just not sure of it’s egg first or chicken first… considering all the “PAP dong kakak cantik!” I see around here. If you are blessed with good looks and wanna show it off, I can understand where it comes from.

What I DO have a hard time understanding is how you people worship and admire prettiness BEYOND the depth of skin. “Kakak cantieq dan kayaknya baeq bgt deh!” How the fuck do you know if she’s a nice person? You don’t.

I like a pretty face as much as any guy. The difference is that I know to admire it as it is, as something that is only skin deep. I will not easily assume she is kind or nice or talented or “beautiful on the inside”.

Why do you occasionally delete your answers? Was it something that embarrassed you?

If it’s out of embarrassment, I wouldn’t post it in the first place. So the answer is no.

So why do I sometimes delete stuff? I consider my page to be my house. And I like to keep my house in order, in the way I see fit.

When you display or throw away stuff in your own house, is it out of shame? Pencitraan? OCD? Or simply because you want things just.. the.. way.. you.. like.. it?

Exactly.

#KeepinItRealYo

ps. Thank god I live alone.