Neither. I’m that guy who just says
“biar Tuhan yang membalas”, because:
a.) I’m vain enough to assume that he is on
MY team, and..
b.) he’s like my own personal enforcer to settle
my personal disputes.
Oh offended, are we? Well, take it up with
those people who say “biar Tuhan yang membalas” and mean it.. because
I’m pretty sure that is how *they* see it.
Ngga akan menolak. It’s the sincerity of the thought that counts, and I consider it an expression of gratitude. In many ways, prayer is a lot like music. Both serve no *practical* purpose whatsoever… but if it makes you feel good, then hey, that’s a good enough reason to do it.
Well, I can’t speak for him. I think he needed direction and arahan. Some people find purpose and jati diri from within, some people need it.. well, handed down to them by old men long dead.
What’s it like for the rest of the family?
Perfectly fine. Whatever makes you happy or gives you pegangan, man. My parents
believed that we should choose whatever gives us peace of mind. It’s our own
lives to live, after all. Do I personally understand how some people find
comfort in this regional/cultural myth over that regional/cultural myth? Nope.
But hey.. why should anyone justify what makes them happy?
I’m sure the majority of you probably uttered some grateful phrase in Arabic upon my brother choosing (not “born into”, not “converted”, but “chose”) Islam. But if he was located in Bangladesh at the time, he could have easily chosen Hindu. And hey, we’d be fine with that too. One man’s deity is another man’s four-armed talking elephant.
Let me give you a bit of context. My
parents where born in in the 1930s. That would make them *grandparents* for
most of you. Yet, they were open minded enough to raise us without any cultural
brainwashing, and let us choose to how to live our own lives.
It’s easy to berkubang menggelora in our diversity and self-congratulate our liberal social media personas for befriending those of different beliefs. Fine. But just keep that in mind fifteen years from now; when your own children prefer to subscribe to the “kasih” or “mindfulness” of some other belief system. A belief system that was not inherited and chosen by the parents, and grandparents before them. Or when your son or daughter wishes to marry someone of a different ethnicity and religion. Or perhaps of the same gender. When that day comes, remember how proud you were of posting pics of your friends of different faiths.
I mean, it’s not like you were born in the
1930s, after all.
One: Don’t defend your point of view. You
don’t owe anyone an explanation, and neither do they owe you anything. As I
always say: semua orang berhak deluded sesuai keyakinan yang diturunkan
Two: If you can accept them for whatever
their parents made them believe, but they can’t do the same for you, then don’t
worry about it. Strive to have the serenity to accept the things you cannot
change; the courage to change the things you can; and the wisdom to know the
difference. (Yes, I copied that off the Serenity Prayer).
Of course. Banyak kok anggota keluarga
besar saya yang relijius; dari katolik, protestan, dan islam. Sejauh ini sih
belum pernah diskusi atau debat mengenai agama. I guess there is no reason to,
and none of them have ever given me a reason to argue either.
But honestly, the matter came up during the
illness and eventual death of my father and sister. But I know they had good
intentions, so sometimes you have to let things slide. There is always a time
and place for such debates to take place. That wasn’t one of them.
Let me share with you an article I just
happened to come across. And yes, I had the same thoughts on the subject
*before* I even read it.
“Grief without Belief: How do Atheists Deal With Death?”
I’d give up on any woman who isn’t independent enough from her parents to make her own decisions and live her own life. Whatever the reason is.
“Absolutely deny?” No, I don’t absolutely deny anything. The same way you wouldn’t absolutely deny the existence of unicorns, sasquatch, leprechauns, or the Loch Ness monster. But until someone can present peer-reviewed empirical evidence on their existence, I’m pretty sure you’ll think “Yeah, so? Says you.” too.
And how do I rationalize death and jodoh? I
don’t. The same way you wouldn’t (or dare not) rationalize how something
sedemikian almighty somehow cannot (or wouldn’t?) protect the slaughter of over
a hundred children by his own followers, like what recently happened in
You know how I always say “do whatever
you feel comfortable doing, regardless whether people understand it or
not”? Well, it also applies to this. There will be an adjustment period,
of course. But people get used to our changes over time.
You will deal with questions, and those
people (who don’t love you that much) will challenge you, but you should always
maintain a quiet resolve and remain steadfast without being confrontational or
If enough people like you as a person, they really wouldn’t care less how you dress and what your personal views are. People whose opinion actually count, at least.