Hi Vipey… i just recently found your ask.fm account and i am very much helped by your answers. I am going thru depression and your answers from 2 years ago really is helping me to go thru this tough time. I’m still struggling with suicidal thoughts but yr right. Stay for my parents.

Get medical help. There is no shame in it. Back in my days, clinical depression wasn’t as.. uh.. hip as it is these days. It was confusing, disorienting, and yes.. I felt hopeless and alone at the time. These days there is much more awareness, and to some extent, an acceptance.

Clinical depression is an ailment that requires medical treatment. As in, if you had a chronic sore throat you wouldn’t think twice about seeing a doctor for a prescription of antibiotics. We may romanticize it and use it to feed our Tumblr page and tweets and poetry and curhat to selebtwats who merasa they are qualified to offer bijak-membumi “advice”… but no, it’s simply an ailment that requires medical attention.

If I had chronic sore throat for months and had some awareness on the issue, I wouldn’t sit around and berkubang menggelora in it. Unfortunately -unlike a sore throat- it took me years to recognize the symptoms and address the chemical imbalance within me.

As netizens just looove to use the “ya kan ngga semua orang privileged kayak elo” excuse, well then make it a priority. As we do for any medical condition. Skip that music festival for once, brew your own coffee, don’t buy that leather choker, don’t buy that Lang Leav hardcover, and use the money for medication instead. Or better yet, use BPJS.

I’m not talking to you specifically, mind you. Don’t take it personally. I hope you get professional help and pull through. In the meantime… get 8 hours of quality sleep a night, get out in the sun, run or ride a bike (ever seen a person ride a bike miserably?), and drink 2 liters of water a day. That’s the least you can do to alleviate the symptoms.

Good luck. 🙂

Vipey, why do you think there are some people out there who constantly looking for reasons to be unhappy? Is it a sign of depression or not?

I’m not sure. Maybe its a form of martyrdom, as in “aku rapopo” with a sense of superiority and more-berkorban-than-thou; or perhaps they just thrive on self-pity. As I’ve said before, it’s not that their issues are especially unique.. but they choose to berkubang menggelora in their problems because it gives them a sense of purpose. To the point where they withhold themselves from finding pleasure in anything else, as if it invalidates who they are.

I think we all know people like that. Spend enough time on Facebook and you’ll see a slew of passive-aggressive postings full of “ikhlas”, “harus bersyukur”, and “biar Tuhan yang membalas.” Don’t you find it amusing that people who claim to be “rapopo”, find it necessary to constantly remind you exactly how “rapopo” they are?

Is it a sign of depression? I refrain from labelling what qualifies as depression or not, but no.. I don’t think so.

Bener banget, Adrian. To those struggling with anxiety/ocd/depression: I know it’s mad annoying when people tell you to exercise, and it took me about 9 medicated years to listen. :)

Nine years of medication? Whoa… that’s a long time for clinical depression. But I can imagine all the advice you received.. starting from talk therapy, meditation, breathing exercise, “banyak2 doa dan bersyukur”, to going vegetarian. And nothing works as effectively as just going for a morning run until you are out of breath. And yes, I hate exercise, and I hate people who TELL me to exercise even more.. but it truly is the most effective way to get rid of the dark cloud of depression.

Despite my 300km a month on a bike, I don’t consider it as exercise… just a means of getting from point A to point B that is much more enjoyable than sitting braindead in a car. Whatever mental and health benefits I get from it, I consider it simply as “excess.”

It’s good that it worked for you, and I replied to this so others can read it too.

Adrian, saya pernah menanyakan perihal mild depression yg tengah saya alami, dan waktu itu kamu (lebih kurangnya) menyarankan bangun pagi, olah raga, kena sinar matahari sbg awal utk menghalaunya. It worked man. Nggak seketika dan langsung sih, tapi start yg efektif. Thanks, man…

I’m really glad the advice was of use. Percaya deh.. dibandingkan meditasi lah, vegetarian lah, latihan pernafasan lah, yang paling efektif untuk menyembuhkan mild depression adalah olahraga pagi sampai keringetan. Kebayang sih, sulitnya seperti apa memotivasi diri sendiri untuk olahraga. Dalam kondisi mental normal saja sudah sulit, apalagi dalam kondisi depressed. And I admire you for that. Get well soon!

Hi vipey. Saya sering merasa depresi dengan hidup namun kebanyakan d malam hari, saat suara2 itu mengambil alih. Apakah caranya adalah dengan olahraga juga? (Seperti yang d bawah2) makasih.

Ah those voices you hear in your head at 3am, eh? I used to call it “The Witching Hour.”

Yang paling efektif sih punya teman atau saudara yang siap dan mau ditelepon di jam segitu, when the voices happen. Ya tentunya tidak perlu beri advice apa2, tapi sekedar untuk mendengarkan saat itu terjadi. Dan memang tidak ada gunanya juga kok, memberi advice kalau sedang dalam kondisi itu.

Saya pernah “stand-by” untuk di telepon untuk beberapa teman yang mengalami hal yang sama, dan katanya sih sekedar baca social media seperti Twitter itu sangat menolong. Saya paham kenapa baca Twitter bisa menolong, karena itu real-time dan seperti ada yang “menemani.” Does it make sense? Nope. But I understand how it works, and if I had Twitter back when it happened to me, I’m sure I would have done the same.

Adrian, I’ve just ‘found’ your page, and been reading it up till 4 months ago. I have been battling my suicidal mind over the years. I don’t want to self diagnose myself either, but going to a shrink in our country I don’t really fancy the idea. Did you find it helpful? -24 F

Bear in mind that my answer is not backed by any research, so take it with a grain of salt. So before you anak2 fakultas psikologi give me a piece of mind on the matter, I suggest you go do better things with your time.

First of all, do you know why you have suicidal thoughts?

If you know *exactly* why; as in specific isssues regarding family, childhood trauma, post traumatic disorder etcetera… then yes, talk therapy with a psychologist (or shrink, as you call it), is probably in order. Because you have an issue to *solve*, and a therapist can help you with that.

But if you have suicidal thoughts with no particular coherent reason, as in “I don’t know why I feel this way, I just do”, then I suggest you see a psychiatrist and get medication for it. I think this falls under “clinical depression”, which there are several types with a variety of symptoms (and yes, best not go down the self-diagnose rabbit hole). And like having a flu, it would be silly to avoid seeing a doctor and suffer this ordeal, when a clear mind is only a resep obat away.

Good luck to you.