Here’s a tip: when you have that
uncontrollable urge to do something, don’t do it. Sleep on it, give it more
time, and when you do finally do it… tone it down. Way down.
Trust me.. you have no idea how temporarily
insane some people become when interested in someone. And just like the
clinically insane, they are *always* unaware just how crazy they have become.
Ask questions and be genuinely interested in the other person’s life. I find that most people enjoy talking about themselves (and some enjoy it TOO MUCH), so that is always a good start.
Granted, there is no guarantee that she’ll ask anything in return. That’s when you ask for the bill and mumble some excuse that you have to be somewhere.
Personally, I’m not that guy yang minta dipanggil “mas”, assumes that “bikin teh sore2” is my girlfriend’s duty, or minta diladeni hanya karena saya seorang pria.
But does that make your boyfriend
“wrong”? Not at all. Terserah dia sih, preferensi-nya seperti apa.
Dan sama hal-nya dengan kamu. Neither of you should make ANY apologies for your
preferences. Ada perempuan yang suka “meladeni”, dan ada laki2 yang
suka pasangan-nya berkedudukan yang sama. And you know what.. semua ada
So, to answer your question:
Step apa yang mesti dilakukan supaya
Cari pasangan baru yang sesuai preferensi
When sex happens between a man and a woman, NEVER assume it happened because the man jungkir-balik/sepik/modus/moved mountains to make it happen.
Because “charming like hell” and
“manipulative douchebag” are two sides of the same coin. A genuinely
good person has no need to be charming. A charming man, on the other hand, has
an agenda.. as charm is just another form of persuasion. And if he doesn’t get
what he is scheming for, that’s when his true colors show.
You know those women who say things like
“gw suka cowok romantis”? Those are the ones yang paling gampang
dikibulin, karena gampang dimanipulasi dengan hal2 romantis. But hey, maybe
that delusion is worth it. I’m sure some women consider it a fair trade-off:
treat me like garbage, but I get PAP-able roses now and then. Or in plain
english: “tapi kalo lagi baeq, dia baeeeq bgt.”
I am willing to bet that men who
emotionally or physically abuse women, spend twice as much for Valentine’s Day
than men who treat their women with respect and kindness.
So keep that in mind the next time you see a PAP of some guy’s grand romantic gesture with 5000 likes.
Not that I know (exactly) know who you are referring to, but seriously… go ahead. I have no claim nor ownership over anyone I am dating or have dated, as they have no claim over me. So people, please stop asking me for permission. It ain’t mine to give in the first place.
Not much can be done when she starts
pulling the victim card. The best you can do is practice “early
detection.” It’s not easy, but over time and with more experience, you’ll
be able to sniff them out. And please don’t ask me what the signs are. 🙂
The best you can do is protect yourself.
First of all, archive all chats, and screencap key conversations. Email to
yourself the transcripts and screencaps, using her name as the subject (for
And IF push comes to shove, make sure she knows you kept meticulous records of what she said and what was *mutually* agreed upon. And because you have nothing to hide, you have no qualms about posting it online IF she goes nutjob ballistic.
Will she find some other Loophole To Justify Her Baseless Rage (or “Celah Amarah” in Indonesian)? Oh yes. They always do. But it’s always good to have those transcripts and screencaps in your back pocket.
Hari gini masih “He Said She Said”? Capek deeeh… let the digital paper trail speak for itself.
You mean, would I mind if she dated someone
who is self-aware and honest about how he is, respects her intelligence as
someone who’s accountable for her choice in men, and believes that she should
love herself more than she should ever love him?
No, I wouldn’t mind.