Hi A, tell me something, please: why is it when a man who sleeps around gets applauded as a “stud” (or “male god”) but the total opposite is applied when it’s a woman? How would you honestly view a woman who rolls the way you do when it comes to dating, sex and relationship?

First question: I’m sure there’s an explanation from an evolution/Darwinist standpoint, but it’s not my capacity to go into it here. It comes down to survival of the species, where it’s more beneficial (from a genetic continuation perspective) for a woman to maintain a single partner, and for men to.. well.. have several. In no way am I saying this perception is correct in any way, I am just saying that this is where it stems. For the record, I strongly disagree with how society views this. So please redirect any gender-related hate questions to Charles Darwin or Desmond Morris instead.

Second question: How would I view a woman who rolls the way I do? If she does it out of her own volition and preference, then more power to her. I believe women may do whatever men can. And she should whatever makes her feel good, not because she has emotional issues to numb or as a way to manipulate men. That would be the equivalent of men who do it to add a notch to their belt, or because he is afraid of commitment.

Do men like being spoiled by women?

Of course we do.

The problem is -more often than not- it means we end up owing you something.

There is no such thing as a free lunch, despite your “nyante aja lagii, driii..”

And we know that -one way or the other- you WILL collect on the debt.

Come hell or high water, you always collect on the debt.

i really like the way you’re answering all the questions so wisely even for some curhat questions so yeah here i am trying to push my luck and asking you. what do men ‘really’ see in women, they said looks matters but some said they see brains, what is the parameter of looks they’re talkin about?

Ooookay. Normally I refrain from replying to questions on subjects like this… but since you asked politely, I guess I’ll make an exception. I can only tell you my experience and how I view it. I cannot speak for all men.. so bear that in mind.

I like a pretty face as much as any guy. Because of my work, I’ve met and worked with fashion models over the years. Though personally I am NOT into the “fashion model look” (I prefer the nerdy shy type ha ha), ya tentunya ada aja ya yang my type and I have seen over the years in magazines and look forward to meeting.

And more often than not… I’d meet her, have a 3 minute conversation, and… *zip!* the attraction is gone.

I’m not going to go into details on why, karena it’s very subjective. And lagian, tentunya a lot of women have felt the same way upon meeting me too.

On the other hand, I know several women who I wouldn’t even turn my head for if she walked by… but from reading her tweets, writing, compatibility in a conversation, or how she treats other people; I’ll find myself very attracted to her.

Why didn’t I bring up “intelligence”? Because that would mean I’m saying that I consider *myself* intelligent. So no, I’m not the type of person who proclaims to be a “sapiosexual”. 🙂 I think to say “compatibility in conversation” is sufficient enough.

In a nutshell: looks can only get someone so far. After 10 minutes, it comes down to compatibility.

ps. Disclaimer: Pembahasan diatas tidak berlaku dalam konteks one night stand. Terimakasih atas perhatiannya.

Why do you guys seem heartless after breakup?

I think it’s a matter of circumstance, not gender.

Women are just as capable of being heartless. Especially when they break up because they met some new-guy-of-the-moment they bumihangus semesta for. The previous guy? He becomes nothing but a nuisance to her. Like a mosquito she just shoos away because she’s busy with the new-guy-of-the-moment.

Funny how when women do that to men, they never think twice about how the guy feels.

Secara udah berkubang menggelora sama the new guy.

All men out there who agree with me (or been there) say “aye”.

What’s your opinion or thought about a girl who posts selfie too much?

I’m just not sure of it’s egg first or chicken first… considering all the “PAP dong kakak cantik!” I see around here. If you are blessed with good looks and wanna show it off, I can understand where it comes from.

What I DO have a hard time understanding is how you people worship and admire prettiness BEYOND the depth of skin. “Kakak cantieq dan kayaknya baeq bgt deh!” How the fuck do you know if she’s a nice person? You don’t.

I like a pretty face as much as any guy. The difference is that I know to admire it as it is, as something that is only skin deep. I will not easily assume she is kind or nice or talented or “beautiful on the inside”.

When a guy is sending you messages every day and it seems that he’s having fun as much as you, but he just stops doing that, does it mean that it’s over? And why oh why would you guys do that? You chase us, then you runaway.

It’s not over. It just means the ball is in your court, and it’s *your* turn to return it. That’s the proper way to do it.

Real men wait quietly for the initiative on your part. But lesser men? Lesser men pursue, persuade, and plead for women to respond to them.