Pria dan wanita bisa punya hubungan yang murni platonik tanpa harus “beranjak” dari fase lain. Anyone who says otherwise probably never had close friends of the opposite sex.
Or only objectifies them as a.) “bisa neh”, or b.) “ogah ah.”
First question: Why do men tease and mock
when together? Because guys don’t say “bestie! my BFF! brother!” to
eachother faces, but dibelakang mock and talk bad about eachother. You know,
unlike.. *sinyal ilang*
Second question: I don’t know what you mean
by “act like a bunch of apes”, but yes.. I’m sure there’s a lot of
guys who regress into uncultured “Lesser Men” neanderthals when a
pretty girl is present. In a way, it’s a form of “kampungan”.. if you
haven’t been around a lot of pretty girls, your behaviour reflects it.
Real men, on the other hand, just keep
their cool and behave normally. Paling mata aja yang alert buddies that someone
someone cute is within range.
The same reason cewek cenderung lebih suka cowok dengan rambut lebat dibandingkan yang botak.
Does that answer your question?
I’m not saying that you should accept it,
but let me tell you something about men:
A man can be completely in love with his
girlfriend/wife, but if an attractive woman crosses his line of sight, his eyes
WILL move. It’s a reflex we have no control over. Again, I’m not saying you
should tolerate it, but this is just how it is. Lagian, emangnya mata kamu ngga
gerak kalau ada cowok ganteng lewat? It’s the same thing, and yes.. he KNOWS you
looked. But unlike you, he’s emotionally mature and secure enough to not make
an issue about it.
And let me tell you something else:
I have several female friends who -years
later- discovered that their boyfriend/exes are actually gay. Mau tahu ngga benang-merah
diantara semuanya? They all said the same thing: “He never looked at any
other women, ever. I felt like I was the only one in his eyes. Well, now I
So, which would you prefer?
I have no real opinion on the matter, but I personally think a woman may do ANYTHING a man does. How is that for gender equality, eh? I think the difference is in the effort that is expended for it to happen. Most men harus jungkir balik kiri kanan dan sepik2 dewa for any sort of banging to happen; while most women just simply have to, well.. agree to it.
It depends on what you mean by
If you think the man she is going to marry
has anger management issues, then it’s up to you warn your daughter about it.
And you might want to think about WHY your daughter mau2nya sama orang yang
tidak bisa mengendalikan emosi. Sorry to say, it might have to do with how she
was raised. The only reason why people behave a certain way is because ada aja
yang mau stay with them, despite such behaviour.
But if you define “hurt” as
“sakit hati”, well… just because someone sakit hati or heartbroken,
it does not mean your daughter di pihak yang benar. It might be hard to
believe, but our kids are not saints. They might have their own manipulative
ways, and when their hidden agenda doesn’t go as planned.. they feel hurt. Maaf
ya, itu urusan sendiri2. Being manipulative and deceitful isn’t the domain of
the male gender. Women are just as capable of doing so, and even BETTER at
“pulling victim” when it happens.
I’m not sure if this answers your
question… but it might give you perspective.
Not only is “good” a relative
concept, but in this case it is also irrelevant.
Nothing bugs me more than those people who
indignantly say “I deserve better than this.”
No, you deserve whoever you consciously *chose* to be with, with all the information you had about the person.
That, is what you “deserve”. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m not even gonna go there.
I have a feeling this will be a question
I’ll revisit over time, deleting and adding new snippets.
But for a quick and lazy saturday morning
answer, here we go:
During my young and opinionated
pre-internet years, I wrote a short article for a Bandung newspaper (remember
those?) on “Analisa Korelasi Terminator 2, Aliens, dan Motherhood.”
(Yeah, I forgot the exact title.) Anyways.. I argued that the toughest testosterone
male action heroes cannot hold a candle to a mother protecting her young. And a
woman will transform into a fighting machine overnight (no Special Forces
training or tour in ‘Nam necessary) if her offspring is in danger. Once the
maternal instinct kicks in and turns primal, even the Expendables would just
pack up and leave.
So why Terminator 2 and Aliens? Both movies
explore those themes. How Sarah Connor stopped at nothing to protect her son,
and how Ripley carried Newt while wielding a flamethrower against the Alien
Queen (who was in turn, protecting her breed). And let’s not forget her iconic
line: “Get away from her, you bitch.”
Come to think of it.. the best thing about
the pre-internet days, silly stuff you published when you were 19 don’t come back
to haunt you.
Yes, real gentlemen are on the brink of
extinction, after decades of being relegated to the friendzone. And all the
while the douchebag-breed roam the earth, fluorishing like locusts of the Old
And who’s to blame for that? Well, think
about it for a while.
Take all the time you need.