Vipey, what do you think about one night stand or FWB thing that turns one to be baper? I mean only di satu pihak, almost the same like friendzone, I guess. I know I should stay casual but I just can’t. Other guys I chat with don’t interest me anymore. FYI I’m a gay guy.

If you can’t stay casual after One Night Stands, then you shouldn’t do One Night Stands. Nothing inherently wrong with that, mind you… itu pilihan masing2 sih.

But that’s one thing I’ll never understand: the fact of the matter is, MOST people are monogamous. Why the hell do the baper-prone even get involved with the ones who are clearly non-monogamous?

Any saying to a girl who can’t let go of a man because she lost her virginity to him? And please, other than seven-billions-people-on-the-planet.

When you ask me questions like this, I assume you know what you are getting into, right?

So here’s my most realistic, applicable, practical approach to the matter:

Go sleep with more men.

Do it safely, with the ones you feel comfortable with, and with full mutual consent.

(Assuming you are of the appropriate age to do so, of course.)

Why? Because by doing that you’ll gain perspective, and realize that cemen matters such as this is really.. no.. big.. deal. Because right now, ibaratnya you’re like that 21 year old girl who’s never dated her entire life, then one guy asks her out on a date, and she thinks “OMG THIS IS THE ONE OMG”. Meanwhile, the more men you meet, the more you realize that “The One” will come and go. And that is perfectly fine.

That’s what I mean by “gaining perspective.”

And no, yang komen2 “kalo jawab jangan terlalu ngaco, bro” ngga akan diladenin.

halo om,aku udah single hampir setaun,i’m not virgin anymore,but i’m not doing it with random guy. skrg aku merasa nyaman dg status single,tp suka kepikiran,if someday i can’t find someone yg bs nerima aku apa adanya,apa aku bakal ttp nyaman kyk gini. mnrt om adakah pria bs nerima aku apa adanya?

Terus terang dari dulu ngga pernah ngerti lho, apa sih artinya when people say “terima aku apa adanya”, or “ngertiin aku apa adanya”. What the hell is “apa adanya”, anyways? Is it like some lagak-merendah thing like “apalah artinya saya ini” and similar crap like that?

We are all “apa adanya”. I am, you are, everyone is. It’s not high or low, better or worse, it just.. is. We are who we are. And if someone can’t take it (or “nerima”, in your terms), then that person lebih baik dipersilahkan ke lapak sebelah saja untuk mencari yang lebih sesuai.

“Apa adanya.” Man, if you position yourself like someone who is less worthy of others dan berharap ada orang yang mau “nerima”, then you deserve whatever you get.

If i’m not mistaken, i think i remember reading your askfm saying that you think a woman that have had sexual encounters/partners seem more stable. The thing is i’ve been thinking about wanting to lose my virginity, but i’m afraid someone might use it against me in the future. Any advice mr. vipey?

I’m going to answer this with the assumption that you’re over 18.

Honestly, I don’t understand what you mean by it. I don’t see why or how someone can use it any way “against you”. But if what you mean is “oh no people might know I’m not a virgin anymore, and my entire self-worth/kesucian/blablabla is tied to it, and I am morbidly ashamed”, then no.. you shouldn’t do it. Because that has nothing to do with whatever other people do or say, that is simply because you are not mentally prepared (and comfortable with yourself) to do it.

But no, you’ll never have control over what people will use against you. It’s all “risk assessment” and plain old common sense. Whether it’s worth it or not, that’s up to you.

may I ask you something about my love-life too? I hope you dont mind. I met a guy on socmed. Make it short, finally we decided to met up. I feel so comfort, so does he. I thought that was a 1 night stand, bcs he has gf. It always hard for me to be in luv again but he made it so easy. what should I do?

Here are three things you should do:

1. Stop sleeping with men who have girlfriends.

2. If you think a one night stand = love, you should not be doing one night stands.

3. Grow up.