Vipey, how am i supposed to deal with a woman who played victim’s card?

Not much can be done when she starts pulling the victim card. The best you can do is practice “early detection.” It’s not easy, but over time and with more experience, you’ll be able to sniff them out. And please don’t ask me what the signs are. 🙂

The best you can do is protect yourself. First of all, archive all chats, and screencap key conversations. Email to yourself the transcripts and screencaps, using her name as the subject (for easy search).

And IF push comes to shove, make sure she knows you kept meticulous records of what she said and what was *mutually* agreed upon. And because you have nothing to hide, you have no qualms about posting it online IF she goes nutjob ballistic.

Will she find some other Loophole To Justify Her Baseless Rage (or “Celah Amarah” in Indonesian)? Oh yes. They always do. But it’s always good to have those transcripts and screencaps in your back pocket.

Hari gini masih “He Said She Said”? Capek deeeh… let the digital paper trail speak for itself.

Serious question. So, I have a lil daughter. If someday she got married, is it okay if I make an agreement with her soon to be husband that I can do anything to him if she ever hurt her? Or am I just over protective? Thanks.

It depends on what you mean by “hurt.”

If you think the man she is going to marry has anger management issues, then it’s up to you warn your daughter about it. And you might want to think about WHY your daughter mau2nya sama orang yang tidak bisa mengendalikan emosi. Sorry to say, it might have to do with how she was raised. The only reason why people behave a certain way is because ada aja yang mau stay with them, despite such behaviour.

But if you define “hurt” as “sakit hati”, well… just because someone sakit hati or heartbroken, it does not mean your daughter di pihak yang benar. It might be hard to believe, but our kids are not saints. They might have their own manipulative ways, and when their hidden agenda doesn’t go as planned.. they feel hurt. Maaf ya, itu urusan sendiri2. Being manipulative and deceitful isn’t the domain of the male gender. Women are just as capable of doing so, and even BETTER at “pulling victim” when it happens.

I’m not sure if this answers your question… but it might give you perspective.

Hey Buddy. What do you do with unresolved feelings from a relationship that ended on a sour note?

I swallow it and deal with it on my own. I don’t know some people have this overbearing urge to deal, resolve, and discuss to death something that -essentially- is best put to rest. You can’t beat a dead horse, so just swallow it and let it die already.

Want to know what I DON’T do? I don’t proceed “cari panggung” on social media, wave around a Victim Card, and slander someone I *consciously* chose (pursued, even?) to be with, despite all the information I already had about her.

That is what I don’t do. Because doing that says more about ME as a person, than about her.

I like this guy and he shows interest in me. The thing is, I know he is seeing other girls and I am actually okay about that. I am a bit frustrated that he talks to me when he wants to, but when I want to talk to him, it seems he always has things to do with his other girls. Am I being immature? Thx

No, you’re not being immature. But if the fact that he sees other women bothers you -despite your “I am actually okay about it”-, means you’re probably not right for each other. There is no right or wrong, just “incompatible”.

Considering that MOST men out there are monogamous (or at least *pencitraannya* demikian), wouldn’t it be much easier to just find someone who rolls the same way you do? Because if not, sooner or later you’ll end up pulling out the “korban” card.

Trust me, you don’t want to be that person.