If it’s some privileged Jaksel Orba kid who
stayed within the safe familiar PERMIAS/KBRI bubble for the entire time he/she
was there… then no difference whatsoever.
Or, if it’s some nervous Jakbar kid who
arrives and gets sucked in by the Indo church youth groups… then biasanya
jadi close-minded religious zealot.
Those two types are basically two sides of
the same coin. And you know ’em when you see ’em.
One: Don’t defend your point of view. You
don’t owe anyone an explanation, and neither do they owe you anything. As I
always say: semua orang berhak deluded sesuai keyakinan yang diturunkan
Two: If you can accept them for whatever
their parents made them believe, but they can’t do the same for you, then don’t
worry about it. Strive to have the serenity to accept the things you cannot
change; the courage to change the things you can; and the wisdom to know the
difference. (Yes, I copied that off the Serenity Prayer).
Yes, but friendships generally last for
much longer. And despite my views on the temporary nature of friendships, I
still have friends that go back 30 years and are still in touch in a monthly
basis. And just because I don’t fling around the word “forever” (like
most younger people), it doesn’t mean I value my friends any less.
So compare those “temporary friendships” that to some person-of-the-month you fall for. You abandon your friends, make no time for them, and can’t shut the fuck up about this new person you happen to be klepek2 for. How long is she/he gonna last? A year? Two years? Or from what I see around here… dalam 3 bulan juga udah ga mikirin.
It’s easy to assume apapun is The One, and Forever… when you just don’t know any better.
I would listen to what he/she has to say.
What if my significant other is a
controlling maniac? What if she treats me like dirt, and I am too stupid to see
it? What if I turned into a miserable person since I’ve been with her, without
You might be blind to these things. You
might be in denial of it.
We all need friends who won’t hesitate to
bitchslap some sense into us.
What makes you think you won’t be the one
who leaves them? You know, when you meet some guy or girl and go bumihangus
semesta and never make time for your friends anymore? We all think that we are
enlightened and “above” abandoning our friends, but when it actually
happens.. ya sama2 aja kok semua. You’re all the same.
You know all those wisuda pictures
captioned “FRIENDS FOREVER”? The only reason why they think it’s
forever is because none of them are married yet.
Accept the temporary nature of friendships.
Enjoy it while it lasts. If it lasts til the day you die, fine. If it doesn’t,
be thankful for the good times once shared and move on.
I’m not even gonna go there.
Sure, here’s a tip:
Don’t start a business with friends.
Ya kenapa harus? I bet that if you sit down
and really think about it, there is NO reason why you need your friends in
starting the business. Do they offer specific skill sets that you do not have
yourself? Or simply karena ‘ih kayaknya lucuk juga ya kita bikin bisnis
“Ya karena modalnya kan harus
Think again. Can you start with a lower
investment that does not require ngajak2? Can you borrow money so that you can
be the sole owner?
“Ya aku kan ngga ngerti pembukuan..
temen aku yang ngerti…”
Then pay someone who does. Or learn it on
your own. There is always a way that does not require sharing ownership with
I’m not saying that starting a business
with friends is a bad idea. All I’m saying is, the reasons should go beyond ‘ih
kayanya lucuk juga ya kita bikin bisnis bareng’.
Duh, emangnya ngapain sih kalau kumpul sama
teman2 dan keluarga sampai harus “acting” urusan religion? Assuming
you are not shoving into people’s faces that you are a non-believer, I don’t
see why kenapa mesti menjadi masalah. Especially when it comes to friends. You
CHOOSE who to be friends with. If they can’t accept you the way you are
(assuming you accept them and their imaginary friends), then I’m pretty sure
you can find a circle of friends who have no issue with personal choices.
Kalau perihal keluarga besar, ngga kok..
saya tidak pura2. Sepertinya juga sudah well-established among my extended
family kalau my family (kecuali my brother, yang masuk Islam) memang tidak
religious. Apakah ada yang berani challenge us? Nope. But then again, we live
our lives properly dan tidak merugikan siapa2 including ourselves. And maybe
the fact that they know there is no way they can win the argument. 🙂
Ngga laah. Ngga segitu kaku-nya in person
Kira2 sih ya, my rules go like this:
Male buddies – lu, gue.
Females (platonic), regardless how long
we’ve known eachother: saya, kamu.
Females (romantic, past – current –
potential): aku, kamu.
My indian textile importers: I, you. As in
“You punya katun printing sudah masuk belum? I lagi ngga main di brokat
Call me old fashioned, call me uptight,
call me anak daerah kagak gaol… but yeah, definitely ngedrop sih when a
female uses “elo, gue” with me. It just doesn’t sound right.
The same way I disagree with how Ahok uses
“elu, gua” in national magazine interviews. You’re a frickin’
governor, fer chrissakes… not some pecicilan skinny guy in a fedora you see
in those advertisements conjured up by those ahensi guys. Gokil, sob!
Pernah. Bisa karena saya melakukan
kesalahan, bisa karena sekedar drift apart. People develop and change overtime,
and “fall out” of compatibility. As I’ve said before, I’ve come to
accept the temporary nature of all relationships. If a friendship lasts a
lifetime, that’s all good. But if it doesn’t, then be grateful for the good
times shared and move on.