Random Non Sequiturs 7

When it says “Fun Fearless Female”, what it actually means is “Neurotic Needy Insecure”.

The only thing sadder than having your autograph and comments up on the seleb section of restaurant wall, is actually asking if you could put your autograph up on that wall.

If you ever say “sudah capek pacaran”, please allow me to let you in on a little secret:  It means you’ve been doing it wrong.

I could never understand the appeal of the caffe latte.  It tastes like warm milk contaminated by coffee.

You know you’ve been living in Bandung too long when the only time you see pribumis and chinese eating at the same table is at nasi hainam joints located within a 3 kilometer radius of a church on a sunday afternoon.

Prayer is like music. There is no logic, reason, nor point to it, but if it makes you feel good and it doesn’t bug anyone else, then hey… why not? (The difference, of course, is that music is actually listened to.)

FSRD ITB students tend to think that by only producing limited items of anything automatically make it exclusive.  Produce fivehundred, and there is a demand for a fivehundred-fifty, that’s exclusive.  If you only produce two and there is no demand for it, that’s called overproduction, baby.

“Tapi gue kan idealis! Ngga komersil/massal/sell-out!”  Fine, okay.  Now sit back and watch me perform Vivaldi on my air Stradivarius.

You know you’ve been living in Jakarta too long when you find the words “KFC” and “Lounge” in the same sentence to be a perfectly acceptable idea.

If you are on a date and she says “Terus terus terus?  Cerita dong cerita dong!”, she really has no interest in whatever you are saying.  And no, she wasn’t paying attention to the few words you wedged in earlier either.

Live in Jakarta once in your life.   Leave before you start coming to Bandung for weekends, wear your hotel slippers to tourist-trap cafés with your sunglasses in your hair, talk much louder than everyone else there, swagger around like you own the place, and think those frickin’ brownies are actually good.  “YO’I, JEK!”

And you know what’s even worse?  You can always tell exactly which tables are the MR eh? chicks, the “anak-anak agency”, the cap n’ sneaker-wearing EOs, or the distro-wearing PH guys.

If you ever come across an online profile of a bule living in Indonesia whose favorite book is “Love in the Time of Cholera”, has pictures of post-tsunami Aceh with “This.. is what I do” as a caption, and listens to “Deep Forest”, slowly stand up, get an axe, and hack your laptop to pieces.

“You couldn’t make a commitment, that’s why she left you for another guy.”  No, she left me for another guy because.. there is another guy. Period.

I have observed that there are two types of Indonesian students in the U.S.  The first type makes friends, and the second type just goes and joins PERMIAS.

And if you can’t even pull that off, there are always the indo-church youth groups who will assimilate you.  And make no mistake about it, you *will* be assimilated.  Because resistance, my friend…natutal viagra has no side effect of viagra is futile. GBU!

Girlfriends are like instant noodles.  One pack isn’t enough, two is too much.  But if you use one and a half, you can never quite figure out what to do with that extra half.

One thing I remembered about my father was that he would always introduce himself to my friends by saying his own name. It sounded rather odd to me as a kid, but now I can see it as sign of respect and consideration towards my friends.

Y’know, the fact that a mall has the audacity to call itself “The Pride of Indonesia” says a lot about us as a people.

I just shaved my head for the first time ever, inspired by Jason Statham.  How did it turn out?  Well, put it this way…  putting lipstick on a pig does not an Anne Hathaway make, does it?

Men who prefer long-haired women tend to sit side-by-side with her with when in restaurants.  Men who prefer short-haired women will sit across from her.

Everyone has their own personal struggle to deal with.


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