Random Non Sequiturs 5

One should stand up straight, dress appropriately, stride with confidence, and have a firm handshake.  You’d be surprised how far a person can get in life just on that alone.

A man can never own enough knives or multitools.  The fact that he may only use it now and then to open The Little One’s bag of Chiki is entirely beside the point.

Sex is like rempeyek. Even when it’s not best rempeyek out there, it’s still pretty damn good enough for me.

If I could chose a profession based on the clothing, it would be a reverend or a SEAL Underwater Demolitionist.  The fact that I have as much faith as my cat and that I couldn’t dog-paddle in a kiddie pool is entirely beside the point.  That being said, there truly is beauty in the monochrome.

People who blog about how fun and fearless it is to be living the single life, actually hate being single. Even more so if she watches Sex and the City, so help you God.

Overheard in theater while watching an adaptation of Shakespeare’s “Henry V”: “Tapi saya belum nonton satu sampai empat…

I’ve hanged out with the literati-budayawan crowd, and I’ve hanged out with the fashionista-model crowd.  Now take a wild guess, which crowd was most likely to make snap judgments based on appearance alone, and verbally express it?

When it comes to trousers, innovative designs don’t sell. (Cue to smart-ass comments by designer-wannabes here.)

In 1984, there was a hit song by Jim Diamond that went “I should have known better, to lie to someone as beautiful as you..“  The first thing that went through my 12 year old mind was: “What, so does it mean if she is ugly, it’s perfectly acceptable to lie to her?”

A religious organization in Indonesia is miffed because the movie “Drupadi” implies that the Mahabharata is fiction.  I find it amusing how one man’s historical fact is just another man’s myth.  Besides, if you can believe in water turning into wine and the parting of the Red Sea, then the idea of a white-furred talking monkey shouldn’t be too much of a stretch, should it?

If your date ever orders soup with a pastry-hat, her steak cooked well-done, and a lime squash, slowly stand up, step away, turn around, and run for your life.  Let me guess: she also prefers Crispy over Original and listens to Josh Groban.

After several years in Indonesia, it dawned upon me that the symbol for Pramuka was, in fact, not a tadpole.

Ever seen those long and baggy Japanese socks?  They actually glue them so they stay in place. Which explains the physics in the numerous independent Japanese films I have had the privilege to view. No wardrobe malfunction in those movies, no sir.

Back in my ICQ days, I found it amusing how many ITB students would actually list their school under “Occupation”.  And only ITB students would do that. Go figure that out.

Typical Reactions You Get If You Are Actually Idiotic Enough To Tell People You Design Clothing For A Living #87:  The “Friends of My Mom” Response: “Sok atuh Adri disainin tante baju yang bisa bikin langsing, saya mah susah pisan cari baju, maklum kalau sudah berumur jadinya melar.. Adri jangan desain untuk yang langsing2 saja atuh… tante mah sukanya yang ada bolletjes dan…”

The two ‘heads GBU chicks would never listen to:  Radiohead and Portishead.  Seriously, just stick to Il Divo, Susan Wong, and “Oh Carol”.

A man playing a ukulele is exactly one half a man.  And if he wears Crocs while doing so, well…  let’s just leave it at that.

Girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever.  And if you do not consider your girlfriend first and foremost as a friend, then you are doing it wrong.  You idiot.

If I ever see another Indonesian TV spot that uses James Brown’s “I Feel Good”, I swear I am gonna hunt down that anak agency and shove his Macbook Pro, me-so-gokil white sneakers, and hat down his skinny throat.

Okay, what’s worse than posing for pics in front of Hard Rock Hotel’s blue surfboard on Kuta?  Posing for pics in front of the Bvlgari hotel sign. Even more so if you aren’t actually staying there.

I’m a GoodReads kinda guy living in an AdultFriendFinder kinda world.


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