Random Non Sequiturs 4

Did you know that the Indonesian word for “velcro” is “perepet”?  Now if that ain’t a perfect example of onomatopoeia, I don’t know what is.

The type of women who read “The Purpose Driven Life” tend to marry the type of men who read “Who Moved My Cheese”.  And end up sharing a copy of “The Secret”.  GBU!

Cool name for a band:  Dewi McPeaches and the Moldy Persiks.  (You probably have to be a hipster Lomo-snapping kaffiyeh-wrapped Aksara-hag to find this one amusing.)

If you are watching a movie and your date says “Yang jahat yang mana?”, slowly step away, turn around, and run for your life.

You know you’re a “Bule with a Mission” if you read books by Allende, Marquez, Naipaul, or anything else with a political turmoil as a backdrop.

To learn how to swear with eloquence, drive behind a mikrolet.

I got my first tattoo a few weeks ago.  It was a decent place, with the usual gaggle of tattooed, pierced, mohawked kids hanging around.   As I was wincing under the needle, that song “Nothing’s gonna change my love for you” played on the radio.  And somehow everyone started singing along to it.  Without the.. slightest.. hint.. of.. irony, pula.

You know you’re a Rabid Bunda if you think your homemade macaroni schotel and risoles kicks some serious ass.

There is a very good reason why the song doesn’t go “Dont’cha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?” instead.

That being said, why do women talk about “sisterhood” so much?  Because deep down inside they know they would walk all over each other when the opportunity presents itself.

When was the last time anyone was ever killed in the name of Satan?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (namely Vancouver, Canada), my dad visited our family doctor after “di kerok” by my mom.  For a moment the doctor seriously thought my mom was quite handy with a whip.

Isn’t it ironic how 95% of the clothing in fashion shows would actually get you arrested by the fashion police?

You know you’ve been in Indonesia too long when you instinctively rate ‘human development’ in various cities according to the franchises established there, i.e. from least developed to most developed: CFC, KFC, PH, McD, BK, Starbucks.

That being said, Wonogiri is still like, a decade away from reaching a KFC level of development..

Beware of women who SMS you “Sudah makan, belum? Jangan lupa makan ya, nanti sakit lho…”.  Trust me on this one.

If you have to remind someone every single day, five times a day, using bloody loudspeakers nonetheless, he probably doesn’t really want to do it in the first place, alright?

Binoche over Alba any day.  There is something very attractive about a woman in her 40’s.

I knew I was getting old the day I realized I prefer watching CNN instead of MTV.

Real men don’t use straws.  Except with Teh Botol.

Women who like romantic men paling gampang dikibulin. Deservedly so.


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