Get medical help. There is no shame in it.
Back in my days, clinical depression wasn’t as.. uh.. hip as it is these days.
It was confusing, disorienting, and yes.. I felt hopeless and alone at the
time. These days there is much more awareness, and to some extent, an
Clinical depression is an ailment that
requires medical treatment. As in, if you had a chronic sore throat you
wouldn’t think twice about seeing a doctor for a prescription of antibiotics.
We may romanticize it and use it to feed our Tumblr page and tweets and poetry
and curhat to selebtwats who merasa they are qualified to offer bijak-membumi
“advice”… but no, it’s simply an ailment that requires medical
If I had chronic sore throat for months and
had some awareness on the issue, I wouldn’t sit around and berkubang menggelora
in it. Unfortunately -unlike a sore throat- it took me years to recognize the
symptoms and address the chemical imbalance within me.
As netizens just looove to use the “ya kan ngga semua orang privileged kayak elo” excuse, well then make it a priority. As we do for any medical condition. Skip that music festival for once, brew your own coffee, don’t buy that leather choker, don’t buy that Lang Leav hardcover, and use the money for medication instead. Or better yet, use BPJS.
I’m not talking to you specifically, mind
you. Don’t take it personally. I hope you get professional help and pull
through. In the meantime… get 8 hours of quality sleep a night, get out in
the sun, run or ride a bike (ever seen a person ride a bike miserably?), and
drink 2 liters of water a day. That’s the least you can do to alleviate the
Good luck. 🙂
I’m not sure. Maybe its a form of
martyrdom, as in “aku rapopo” with a sense of superiority and
more-berkorban-than-thou; or perhaps they just thrive on self-pity. As I’ve
said before, it’s not that their issues are especially unique.. but they choose
to berkubang menggelora in their problems because it gives them a sense of
purpose. To the point where they withhold themselves from finding pleasure in
anything else, as if it invalidates who they are.
I think we all know people like that. Spend
enough time on Facebook and you’ll see a slew of passive-aggressive postings
full of “ikhlas”, “harus bersyukur”, and “biar Tuhan
yang membalas.” Don’t you find it amusing that people who claim to be
“rapopo”, find it necessary to constantly remind you exactly how
“rapopo” they are?
Is it a sign of depression? I refrain from
labelling what qualifies as depression or not, but no.. I don’t think so.
Nine years of medication? Whoa… that’s a
long time for clinical depression. But I can imagine all the advice you
received.. starting from talk therapy, meditation, breathing exercise,
“banyak2 doa dan bersyukur”, to going vegetarian. And nothing works
as effectively as just going for a morning run until you are out of breath. And
yes, I hate exercise, and I hate people who TELL me to exercise even more.. but
it truly is the most effective way to get rid of the dark cloud of depression.
Despite my 300km a month on a bike, I don’t
consider it as exercise… just a means of getting from point A to point B that
is much more enjoyable than sitting braindead in a car. Whatever mental and
health benefits I get from it, I consider it simply as “excess.”
It’s good that it worked for you, and I
replied to this so others can read it too.
I’m really glad the advice was of use.
Percaya deh.. dibandingkan meditasi lah, vegetarian lah, latihan pernafasan
lah, yang paling efektif untuk menyembuhkan mild depression adalah olahraga
pagi sampai keringetan. Kebayang sih, sulitnya seperti apa memotivasi diri
sendiri untuk olahraga. Dalam kondisi mental normal saja sudah sulit, apalagi
dalam kondisi depressed. And I admire you for that. Get well soon!
Ah those voices you hear in your head at
3am, eh? I used to call it “The Witching Hour.”
Yang paling efektif sih punya teman atau saudara yang siap dan mau ditelepon di jam segitu, when the voices happen. Ya tentunya tidak perlu beri advice apa2, tapi sekedar untuk mendengarkan saat itu terjadi. Dan memang tidak ada gunanya juga kok, memberi advice kalau sedang dalam kondisi itu.
Saya pernah “stand-by” untuk di
telepon untuk beberapa teman yang mengalami hal yang sama, dan katanya sih
sekedar baca social media seperti Twitter itu sangat menolong. Saya paham
kenapa baca Twitter bisa menolong, karena itu real-time dan seperti ada yang
“menemani.” Does it make sense? Nope. But I understand how it works,
and if I had Twitter back when it happened to me, I’m sure I would have done
Bear in mind that my answer is not backed
by any research, so take it with a grain of salt. So before you anak2 fakultas
psikologi give me a piece of mind on the matter, I suggest you go do better
things with your time.
First of all, do you know why you have
If you know *exactly* why; as in specific
isssues regarding family, childhood trauma, post traumatic disorder etcetera…
then yes, talk therapy with a psychologist (or shrink, as you call it), is
probably in order. Because you have an issue to *solve*, and a therapist can
help you with that.
But if you have suicidal thoughts with no
particular coherent reason, as in “I don’t know why I feel this way, I
just do”, then I suggest you see a psychiatrist and get medication for it.
I think this falls under “clinical depression”, which there are
several types with a variety of symptoms (and yes, best not go down the
self-diagnose rabbit hole). And like having a flu, it would be silly to avoid
seeing a doctor and suffer this ordeal, when a clear mind is only a resep obat
Good luck to you.
You are right.. people with bipolar
disorder usually work in the creative industry.
My guess is that their brains are wired
differently from those who work with numbers and such. I still believe it to be
a neurological disorder, or chemical imbalance of some sort. It’s an illness
(like the flu) that can treated with proper medication.
So no, clinical depression is not a simple
matter of “coba berpikir positif aja, bro” or “harus banyak
bersyukur” or “just cheer up!” or “lu liat orang lain dong,
banyak yang lebih susah”.
Hmm. Okay, pertama2 saya mau minta maaf
karena akan jawab ini dalam bahasa Inggris. Karena subyek yang agak sulit, dan
saya lebih mudah ekspresikan dalam bahasa inggris. Biasanya saya jawab sesuai
bahasa yang bertanya.
I was clinically depressed between the age
of 28 to 31. It took me four years to become aware that there was something
wrong in my brain. Yes, my dad just passed away.. but I’m sure it was more than
that. In the daytime my thoughts were racing, I spoke very fast, and I was
always on a high. And yes, I was arrogant, reckless, and had a bad temper too.
But at night, at 3am (what I referred to as The Witching Hour), I would get anxiety
attacks and hear voices in my head. Frankly speaking, I was suicidal for a
couple of hours every other night. It was literally temporary insanity.
I didn’t want to die. Well, to be
specific.. I didn’t want my mom to deal with my death. I knew it was..
chemical. I mean, we all have problems to deal with. But this was more than
just “issues”. So I took steps to deal with it. I was vegetarian for
a year, I did yoga and meditation. I finally went to a psychologist and did
talk therapy. Didn’t help, and I literally begged her to give me medication. So
she referred me to a psychiatrist and was prescribed medication for Bipolar (or
what used to be called Manic Depression).
And within a month, I felt.. okay. I don’t
have the intense highs anymore, but I also don’t have the crushing abyss of The
Witching Hour. And I hope I’m a nicer person now that I ever was during those
I think this is as public as I have ever
been about what I went through. But it was an episode in my life I dealt with,
and those personal demons are locked away. If anything, I wish I could
apologize to my friends, family, and colleagues who endured me during those
years, and those who helped me through it.
Thanks for the kind words.
Speaking of depression, coba olahraga deh.
Yes, yes.. I know how annoying it sounds when people tell you to go exercise.
And I know getting started is difficult. But it really does help with mild
Do some jogging or cycling in the morning
sun. You’ll feel much better.