Remember when you were in your early 20’s, masih kuliah, and girls said things like “Kalo laki gue sampe selingkuh, GUE CERAI!” Remember that? Okay, now fast forward six years. Those same girls have been married 4 or 6 years, and now have two kids.
Terus suaminya selingkuh.
Dengan masif, terstruktur, dan sistematis.
So.. is she going to say “GUE CERAI!”? I doubt it. She’s been out of the job market for the past 5 years, she has two kids to feed, she can’t move back in with her parents, and… honestly speaking, her prospects of finding a replacement for her douchebag husband ain’t that high anymore.
And guess what? The husband KNOWS this.
Does he love her? Yes.
Does he love the kids? Yes.
Is he a good father? Yes.
But does it mean it will stop any further “khilaf”? Of course not. Why should he?
Because he knows it, and she knows it, that at the end of the day: “Ok, gue ketauan selingkuh… trus, lo mau apa?”
So much for “Kalo laki gue sampe selingkuh, GUE CERAI!”, eh. Easy to say that when you’re in your early 20’s with no tanggungan and still bright-eyed after wisuda.
Jadi, gimana dong? What is a woman to do; yang tidak bisa membiayai anak2nya, tidak bisa pulang ke rumah ortu, tidak punya social life, dan oleh ortunya sendiri tidak boleh cerai karena urusan “harkat dan martabat keluarga”?
Do what the average Indonesian married woman does: go on Facebook and post cryptic curhat stuff like “harus ikhlas, bersabar, biar Tuhan yang membalas.”
Are all men like this? Ngga sih. Tapi bedanya gini: kalau di luar negeri ada alimony and child support. If you can prove in a court of law kalau suami selingkuh (yup, termasuk pay for sex), he will be hit by alimony and child support so hard bisa2 dia harus likuidasi semua assetnya. And if he doesn’t pay, he’ll go to jail for it. So that’s why pria2 di US atau Eropa mikir tujuh keliling sebelum selingkuh, DAN mikir tujuh keliling sebelum MARRIED. As in “if I cannot remain faithful to this woman, I will not get married.”
Kalau cowok Indonesia? “Married sih married, Dri… tapi ya namanya juga cowok lah, Dri… *wink wink*” Basically, Indonesian men have nothing to lose.
So for women who cannot support her own kids or live with the janda stigma, dan kebetulan bersuamikan douchebag yang selingkuh membahana, there really is no way she will come out on top. So she learns to accept it, and live with it.