Menemukan akunmu 3 years ago is one of the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so galau, broken, berdosa, jenuh dengan segala ceramah yg ngga nolong sama sekali. Beda sama semua omonganmu yg real, masuk akal, practical. Terima kasih, Adrian.

*Maaf ya, jawabnya pakai bahasa inggris*

People always question why I even bother with ask.fm.

Too old for it, lah.. cemen, lah… for scoring women, lah.. “nulis tuh utk Magdalene Rappler Medium kek” lah..

The way I see it, I simply have something to say. I think I have a few viewpoints to offer that are rarely -if ever- represented by anyone else. And like most people who write, it’s just something I want *out there*.

And what’s the point of writing for people who already agree with your viewpoints already? That’s just plain masturbatory, and it’s nothing but preaching to your own choir.

Sure, writing in ask.fm ain’t exactly like doing the editorial page of The Economist, but I’d like to think that I contribute something tangible. If anything, just so people can see different ways of viewing issues we encounter in life. And as cemen as these matters may be, I had to deal with them at one point in my life. And if someone gave me better tools at the time, I’d be grateful for it.

So yeah, thank you.

To know I’m of use; to know that I’ve made you see things differently, makes it worth it.

Vipey, how am i supposed to deal with a woman who played victim’s card?

Not much can be done when she starts pulling the victim card. The best you can do is practice “early detection.” It’s not easy, but over time and with more experience, you’ll be able to sniff them out. And please don’t ask me what the signs are. 🙂

The best you can do is protect yourself. First of all, archive all chats, and screencap key conversations. Email to yourself the transcripts and screencaps, using her name as the subject (for easy search).

And IF push comes to shove, make sure she knows you kept meticulous records of what she said and what was *mutually* agreed upon. And because you have nothing to hide, you have no qualms about posting it online IF she goes nutjob ballistic.

Will she find some other Loophole To Justify Her Baseless Rage (or “Celah Amarah” in Indonesian)? Oh yes. They always do. But it’s always good to have those transcripts and screencaps in your back pocket.

Hari gini masih “He Said She Said”? Capek deeeh… let the digital paper trail speak for itself.

I read somewhere on your twitter timeline that you are reluctant to share your success stories. Do you mind sharing any setbacks or low points in your business and how you recovered from them? Thanks in advance!

I appreciate your question and the way you asked it, but sorry… I must decline.

Yes, I refrain from sharing my achievements, but I also try not to go into kultwits about my setbacks, sob-stories, or kisah-hidup either. I just find that sok-ngajarin dengan dalih “sekedar berbagi” thing to be very self-serving and masturbatory. I would never assume that I have a kisah-bijak that would be of any hikmah for anyone else.

Adrian.. “Shadow and dust” maksudnya apa ya? Apa artinya buat kamu?

You are referring to my tattoo, right?

It’s from the movie Gladiator (2000), a monologue by Proximo:

“We mortals are but shadows and dust, shadows and dust, Maximus.”

Maximus is stating that human life is ephemeral.

The word shadow is used as a reference to Plato’s cave (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_Cave), and the word dust may be a biblical reference:

Genesis 2:7 – And the LORD God formed man the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Ecclesiastes 12:7 – Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

And what does it mean to me?

Exactly that… to remind me of my mortality, and that I only have one life to live. That concept doesn’t quite jive with the biblical reference, but what they hey, right. 🙂

As you know, for the tattoo I had it translated to Japanese. Interestingly enough, the japanese spelling for “dust” is the same for “pride” or “honour”.