Here’s a tip: when you have that
uncontrollable urge to do something, don’t do it. Sleep on it, give it more
time, and when you do finally do it… tone it down. Way down.
Trust me.. you have no idea how temporarily
insane some people become when interested in someone. And just like the
clinically insane, they are *always* unaware just how crazy they have become.
To chase: to pursue in order to catch.
Which means for it to even qualify as a
“chase”, the chaser must pursue someone who takes evasive maneuvers
to avoid him.
So no, I don’t chase.
Depends on what he means by
Is it someone who deceives and manipulates
women to fall for him for ego sake, resulting in heartbreak?
Or someone who, despite his best intentions
of being honest and forthcoming about himself, often becomes the object of
manipulative women with hidden agendas to change him… and when she inevitably
fails, results in heartbreak?
And those Lesser Men who call themselves “players”? What, it’s cool to “play” people? Because the word itself implies deception and manipulation. Either way, anything involving lying or hidden agendas is never cool. So I think anyone who claims to be a player or heartbreaker (intentional or not), is a douchebag of the highest order.
Okay, first of all… you don’t want a girl
who *needs* you anyways. You want a girl who *wants* to be with you. Neediness
of any kind is a sure sign to start running. Fast.
That being said.. if you feel insecure to
go after her, then your chances are pretty low as it is. Women can smell
insecurity, and generally find it unattractive. Does it mean your reasons for
being insecure are valid? Not at all. But the way you see yourself, IS.
So adjust yourself mentally, and find a way
for her to know you are interested. If you are concerned that she is the type
who will laugh at you, then she’s not a nice person, and you shouldn’t be
attracted to her in the first place. No guarantees it will be reciprocal, but
so what.. you might as well try.
And always remember The Vipertongue Protocol:
never pursue, persuade, or persist.
Kalau bola sudah disana, then let it be. If
it doesn’t come back to you, let it go and say “NEXT!”
Ask questions and be genuinely interested in the other person’s life. I find that most people enjoy talking about themselves (and some enjoy it TOO MUCH), so that is always a good start.
Granted, there is no guarantee that she’ll ask anything in return. That’s when you ask for the bill and mumble some excuse that you have to be somewhere.
Kalau urusan nyambung dan enak ngobrol sih
mendingan cari di Twitter atau ask.fm. You can read the person’s thoughts that
go back years, with no audience in particular. On dating sites like OkCupid,
all you know is what that person wrote on a template profile with the singular
purpose of looking and sounding good.
“Ya kan di Twitter dan ask.fm kan banyak yang pencitraan juga…”
Well, if you can’t “read” people well enough from how they write over years… then I suggest you stick to minta dikenalin oleh temen dan saudara.
Personally, I’m not that guy yang minta dipanggil “mas”, assumes that “bikin teh sore2” is my girlfriend’s duty, or minta diladeni hanya karena saya seorang pria.
But does that make your boyfriend
“wrong”? Not at all. Terserah dia sih, preferensi-nya seperti apa.
Dan sama hal-nya dengan kamu. Neither of you should make ANY apologies for your
preferences. Ada perempuan yang suka “meladeni”, dan ada laki2 yang
suka pasangan-nya berkedudukan yang sama. And you know what.. semua ada
So, to answer your question:
Step apa yang mesti dilakukan supaya
Cari pasangan baru yang sesuai preferensi
I’m not saying that you should accept it,
but let me tell you something about men:
A man can be completely in love with his
girlfriend/wife, but if an attractive woman crosses his line of sight, his eyes
WILL move. It’s a reflex we have no control over. Again, I’m not saying you
should tolerate it, but this is just how it is. Lagian, emangnya mata kamu ngga
gerak kalau ada cowok ganteng lewat? It’s the same thing, and yes.. he KNOWS you
looked. But unlike you, he’s emotionally mature and secure enough to not make
an issue about it.
And let me tell you something else:
I have several female friends who -years
later- discovered that their boyfriend/exes are actually gay. Mau tahu ngga benang-merah
diantara semuanya? They all said the same thing: “He never looked at any
other women, ever. I felt like I was the only one in his eyes. Well, now I
So, which would you prefer?
Because “charming like hell” and
“manipulative douchebag” are two sides of the same coin. A genuinely
good person has no need to be charming. A charming man, on the other hand, has
an agenda.. as charm is just another form of persuasion. And if he doesn’t get
what he is scheming for, that’s when his true colors show.
You know those women who say things like
“gw suka cowok romantis”? Those are the ones yang paling gampang
dikibulin, karena gampang dimanipulasi dengan hal2 romantis. But hey, maybe
that delusion is worth it. I’m sure some women consider it a fair trade-off:
treat me like garbage, but I get PAP-able roses now and then. Or in plain
english: “tapi kalo lagi baeq, dia baeeeq bgt.”
I am willing to bet that men who
emotionally or physically abuse women, spend twice as much for Valentine’s Day
than men who treat their women with respect and kindness.
So keep that in mind the next time you see a PAP of some guy’s grand romantic gesture with 5000 likes.