Random Non Sequiturs

I would be a rich man if I got a penny everytime I read an interview of an Indonesian artist whining his or her ass off about “seni di Indonesia tidak didukung pemerintah”. 

If you gotta lose, lose with grace.  And if you ever figure out how to pull that off, please do email me.

Javanese Sound Test: “Jajal, jajal.. ji ro lu.. jajal…”

 “Its funny how we all grow up wanting to be James Bond, but end up looking like a Bond villain instead.”  – Angus Wilson, a highschool friend after seeing me on Facebook for the first time in eighteen years.

Whenever you ask why something isn’t done a certain way, usually its because someone tried it before and it wasn’t financially viable.  

Typical Responses You Receive if You Are Idiotic Enough to Tell People You Design Clothing for a Living, #24: The Pribumi Response: “Sering show?”.  The Chinese Response: “Sudah ekspor?”.

You know you’re a “Bule with a Mission” if your idea of labour dispute resolution is to hold hands with the employees and sing “We are the World”.

If you do not make the effort to make people laugh while being sarcastic, don’t bother being sarcastic.

In Indonesia, its perfectly acceptable to call yourself a lawyer when in fact you are just a legal clerk.

One of the most annoying excuses I have ever heard is “maksud gue kan baek”.  The road to hell is paved with “maksud gue kan baek”.

You know the type of guys that women refer to as “well, he is actually a nice guy once you get to know him better”?  Well, I ain’t one of those guys.

Real men never wear socks to bed. Especially when a woman is anywhere in the picture.

There was a “Bule with a Mission” NGO in Central Java that socialized AIDS awareness via wayang golek shows. Yeah dude, the last time I checked, high risk inviduals are heavy into the wayang golek scene, big time.

FSRD ITB students tend to think that by only producing limited items of anything automatically make it exclusive. Produce a hundred, and there is a demand for a hundred and four, that’s exclusive. If you only produce two and there is no demand for it, that’s called overproduction, baby.

Some things are one-of-a-kind because there is simply no demand for two of them.

I have hanged out with the model/flaming fashionista/Kosmopolitan Vacuumhead crowd. And I have hanged out with the artist/writer/teater/Bule with a Mission/ LSM/Pretentious Pramoedya crowd. Now, take a wild guess: Which crowd was most prejudiced based on how someone was dressed? And verbally expressed it?

When King Leonidas in “300” bellowed “Tonight we dine in hell!”, if you listened closely enough, you could hear the Spartans in the back mumbling “Aww maaaaan…. not sundanese food again… plis deeeh….”

It ain’t a proper Indonesian wedding until the bride-to-be locks herself in her room and breaks down crying.

If you are not mentally prepared to be monogamous yet, don’t get married.  It doesn’t get any simpler than that.  If you stray down the line, its only human.  But at least start on the right frickin’ foot.

“ya namanya juga cowok lah, yan..  mau gimana lagi, udah dari sononya, bener ngga, yan…”

In Indonesia, its perfectly acceptable to call yourself an entrepreneur even if you inherited your father’s business.  Sure, you are smart and work hard, no argument there.  But your lack of passion for what you do is as clear as day.

Anything worth doing feels much better done angled on an incline.

You know you’re a “Bule with a Mission” if you say you are “making a contribution to the local economy” when in fact all you are doing is buying a frickin’ souvenir.

 Back in my ICQ days, I found it amusing how many ITB students would actually list their school under “Occupation”.  And only ITB students would do that.  Go figure that out. 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (namely Vancouver Canada), my dad visited the family doctor after “di kerok” by my mom. For a moment the doctor seriously thought my mom was quite handy with the whip.

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